Here are some thoughts on abortion.
I find that in our society we tend to either condemn abortion from a
moral point of view, or we take it too lightly. Neither way seems to
support life. Again and again I work with individuals or couples that
had aborted their child at some point in life and have tried to leave it
behind and buried it as if it were of no consequence. Almost as if by
having the abortion they could undo the pregnancy. "That happened so
long ago..", "I was so young I had no choice", "It was very early on - I
barely noticed I was pregnant". Other women and men have kept it a
secret and have struggled with the burden not knowing how to deal with it.
When we address the abortion in Family Constellation work and bring the
child present in our circle the depth of grief, loss, guilt and regret
comes as a surprise. Women get overwhelmed by these emotions feeling
alone and without guidance. Often there is no support by the family and
there is no support from our culture, no ritual that would honor this
life as part of the family system.
We don't realize that it is everybody's loss. Siblings lose their
brother or sister, parents lose their child, grandparents lose their
grandchild and ancestors lose their descendant. This lack of integration
and healing may lead couples to separate, women to be unable to get
pregnant or to manifest breast cancer later in life. Siblings conceived
after the abortion often don't feel safe and struggle to be committed to
life.
With the help of Family Constellation I have seen so many women mend
their connection to their aborted children. And I have witnessed
families come together with everybody that belongs included in the
circle of love.
In my heart I stand by you.
Love,
Divyo
www.counselingsedona.com